Don’t Kick Down Your Glass
There is always that moment.
The one that comes when we’re on the brink of stepping up, expanding outward, moving off that plateau that’s grounded us for far too long. It’s that moment we wait for and dream about, but oftentimes once it comes something odd happens.
We falter and hesitate. We find some excuse not to move forward. We put blocks in our way.
You might have heard this referred to as self-sabotage, but a client of mine recently called it “kicking down your glass” and it stuck.
While we may have different goals, we all basically share one similarity. We spend hours of our time and energy working to improve our career, relationships, skill level, and perspective. That glass that we’ve been filling over time, pouring ourselves into, is there, just waiting to be drunk.
Then at that point when we can almost feel the glass on our lips, almost taste its pure sweetness, a flip switches. We draw back and kick it down, essentially making sure that we never get the simple pleasure of enjoying what we’ve worked so hard to accomplish.
Look around. You see it everywhere, in every type of person, from every type of background. Of course, some situations foster this type of behavior more than others, but it’s still widespread.
From a distance, this type of behavior is clear. But in ourselves, it might not be, because it’s hard to come to terms with the stark realization that we may be, at some level, responsible for our own failures or nasty circumstance.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s diet, fitness, lifestyle, relationships, career, or a hobby, the mere idea that we may at fault for our lack of progress can hurt. It’s much more palatable to lay blame on our situation instead of on ourselves. You know – it’s a bad time, other people are being douchebags, it’s too hard, it’s too expensive, it’s too risky, yada, yada, yada.
Certainly, these are not always excuses. However, behind these excuses may lay an unsavory truth. We may simply not believe we deserve any better. We may not feel worthy of love or greatness. We may be so used to feeling like shit that anything else feels wrong.
That’s exactly when our foot flies up and kicks down that glass.
We self-sabotage to make sure that we never get out of that rut we’re in, because underneath it all we feel like we belong in that rut, that this rut is our home.
Does this apply to you?
Well, only you can answer that question.
Look into your past. Have you ever wondered why you passed on an opportunity that would’ve furthered your career? Have you questioned why you mistreated or left someone who treated you well? Have you scratched your head at your inability to follow through with your goals? Have you ever sat back and mourned the loss of a hobby or passion that made you feel alive?
When you close your eyes and imagine your dream life, do you hear your inner critic raise its tiny voice, telling you that this could never be? That you’re ridiculous for even wasting time on silly dreams?
If you answered “yes” to any of the above, think about out what may have promoted that behavior. Was it really circumstance or was it you? Were you scared of something? Did you not believe you were worthy? Did it feel uncomfortable to succeed? If so, why? What do you think you lack? What would you need to feel whole?
Self-judgment starts early in our life and self-sabotage not too far behind. A lot of us do it, a lot of us are suffering because of it. If you’re one of them, then it’s not too late to change.
Because here’s the good news – once you’re aware of your own patterns, you can change them. You can work on strengthening your self-confidence. You can enlist others to help you make better choices and to be more accountable to your goals. You can learn how to be your own best champion. You can learn to be more comfortable feeling good, feeling loved, feeling worthy.
You can redefine who you think you are and what you believe you’re capable of achieving.
This is a new year, so no better of a time to start focusing on not kicking down your glass, but rather enjoying it.
You worked for it. You deserve it. You just have to believe it.
Ever kicked down your glass? If so, don’t worry. It’s never too late to become your own greatest champion. Reach out if you need help making better choices, becoming accountable to your goals, and changing how you perceive or treat yourself.